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cpwiser10:

cpwiser10:

Today we had sex ed because reasons and my sex ed teacher was like “You’re all gonna have sexual intercourse one day.” and I just busted out laughing

and then he said "Because eventually you’re all gonna kiss the opposite gender" and I doN’T THINK I’VE EVER LAUGHED HARDER IN MY LIFE LIKE I WAS DYING

STOP REBLOGGING THIS IM JUST A HELLA GAY ASEXUAL I SWEAR IM NOT LONELY ST O P

carrotcatmd:

STORY:

On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. 

I have a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure with the $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about irritating anyone for trying to break a $50 bill. 

Me: ‘Hi, I’d like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.’ Server: ‘That’ll be $1.04. Eat in?’ 
Me: ‘No, it’s to go.’ At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny. 
Server: ‘Uh, hang on a sec, I’ll be right back.’ He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot.

The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

Server: ‘Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?’ 
Manager: ‘No. A what?’ 
Server: ‘A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me…’ 
Manager: ‘Ask for something else. There’s no such thing as a $2 bill.’ 
Server: ‘Yeah, thought so.’ 

He comes back to me and says, ‘We don’t take these.

Do you have anything else?’ 

Me: ‘Just this fifty. You don’t take $2 bills? Why? 
Server: ‘I don’t know.’ 
Me: ‘See here where it says legal tender?’ 
Server: ‘Yeah.’ 
Me: ‘So, why won’t you take it?’ 
Server: ‘Well, hang on a sec.’ 

He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I’m a shoplifter, and says to him, ‘He says I have to take it.’

Manager: ‘Doesn’t he have anything else?’ 
Server: ‘Yeah, a fifty. I’ll get it and you can open the safe and get change. 
Manager: ‘I’m not opening the safe with him in here.’ 
Server: ‘What should I do?’ 
Manager: ‘Tell him to come back later when he has real money.’ 
Server: ‘I can’t tell him that! You tell him.’ 
Manager: ‘Just tell him.’ 
Server: ‘No way! This is weird. I’m going in back. 

The manager approaches me and says, ‘I’m sorry, but we don’t take big bills this time of night.’

Me: ‘It’s only seven o’clock! Well then, here’s a two dollar bill.’ 
Manager: ‘We don’t take those, either.’ 
Me: ‘Why not?’ 
Manager: ‘I think you know why.’ 
Me: ‘No really, tell me why.’ 
Manager ‘Please leave before I call mall security.’ 
Me: ‘Excuse me?’ 
Manager: ‘Please leave before I call mall security.’ 
Me: ‘What on earth for?’ 
Manager: ‘Please, sir..’ 
Me: ‘Uh, go ahead, call them.’ 
Manager: ‘Would you please just leave?’ 
Me: ‘No.’ 
Manager: ‘Fine — have it your way then.’ 
Me: ‘Hey, that’s Burger King, isn’t it?’ 

At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect.

A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in. 

Guard: ‘Yeah, Mike, what’s up?’ 
Manager (whispering): ‘This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.’ 
Guard: ‘No kidding! What?’ 
Manager: ‘Get this. A two dollar bill.’ 
Guard (incredulous): ‘Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?’ 
Manager: ‘I don’t know. He’s kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.’ 
Guard: ‘Oh, so the fifty’s fake!’ 
Manager: ‘No, the two dollar bill is.’ 
Guard: ‘Why would he fake a two dollar bill?’ 
Manager : ‘I don’t know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?’ 
Guard: ‘Yeah.’


Security Guard walks over to me and……

Guard: ‘Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you’re trying to use.’ 
Me: ‘Uh, no.’ 
Guard: ‘Lemme see ‘em.’ 
Me: ‘Why?’ 
Guard: ‘Do you want me to get the cops in here?’ 

At this point I’m ready to say, ‘Sure, please!’ but I want to eat, so I say, ‘I’m just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill. I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I’m taking a swing at him. He takes the bill turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says, 

Guard: ‘Hey, Mike, what’s wrong with this bill?’ 
Manager: ‘It’s fake.’ 
Guard: ‘It doesn’t look fake to me.’ 
Manager: ‘But it’s a two dollar bill.’ 
Guard: ‘Yeah? ‘ 
Manager: ‘Well, there’s no such thing, is there?’ 

The security guard and I both look at him like he’s an idiot and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue and is an idiot. So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.

Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. 

scenicroutes:

micheledesanta:

jacksonolantern:

chickensandwich:

pizzaforpresident:

i hate when people call their grandparents weird names instead of grandma and grandpa like babooshka or salami

i’m telling grandpa salami that you were talking shit

this is some white nonsense 

y’all know that different languages exist right

"weird names for grandparents, like babooshka"

so, like, literally, the russian word for “grandmother”

(Source: aurevoir-mes-amis)

chiakifoil:

lol it me! there is actually a number of “she deserves to be raped”, “why is she wearing that if she doesn’t want to be touched”, “attention whore”, comments on that picture. i don’t mind the picture being posted. what i mind is the rape comments. i wanted to report it and have it taken down but i guess when you report someone’s post/picture on facebook, facebook makes you essentially let them know you’re reporting it. so what does that mean? it means i’d have a very big chance of getting harassed and threatened. oh AND facebook is totally cool with rape jokes, and even rape threats. so yeah, fuck facebook and fuck dudes.

(Source: plsfeelmyanus)

chiakifoil:

lol it me! there is actually a number of “she deserves to be raped”, “why is she wearing that if she doesn’t want to be touched”, “attention whore”, comments on that picture. i don’t mind the picture being posted. what i mind is the rape comments. i wanted to report it and have it taken down but i guess when you report someone’s post/picture on facebook, facebook makes you essentially let them know you’re reporting it. so what does that mean? it means i’d have a very big chance of getting harassed and threatened. oh AND facebook is totally cool with rape jokes, and even rape threats. so yeah, fuck facebook and fuck dudes.

(Source: plsfeelmyanus)

halloween asks, yes please

  • A:

    What are you being for Halloween this year?

  • B:

    Favorite costume from past Halloweens?

  • C:

    Do you still go trick or treating?

  • D:

    Top 3 favorite scary movies.

  • E:

    Top 3 non-scary Halloween movies.

  • F:

    Do you watch Halloween specials on TV?

  • G:

    What was your first Halloween costume?

  • H:

    Would you ever wear a "sexy" Halloween costume?

  • I:

    Most ridiculous "sexy" costume you've seen?

  • J:

    Would you rather go to a Halloween party or go trick or treating?

  • K:

    Favorite candy to find in your trick or treat bag?

  • L:

    Candy or other goodies that make you want to cut a bitch when someone gives them to you?

  • M:

    Any Halloween traditions?

  • N:

    Have you ever been tricked on Halloween?

  • O:

    Costumes: make or buy?

  • P:

    Have you ever pulled a Halloween prank?

  • Q:

    Do you believe in ghosts?

  • R:

    You're in a horror movie. Are you the final girl, the first to die, the comic relief, the skeptic, the smart one, or the killer?

  • S:

    You're in a zombie apocalypse. What's your weapon of choice?

  • T:

    Costumes: scary, sexy, or funny?

  • U:

    You're a ghost. How do you spend Halloween?

  • V:

    Trick or treating: how old is too old?

  • W:

    Do you pass out candy on Halloween?

  • X:

    Do you go trick or treating even when it's raining?

  • Y:

    Top 3 favorite scary stories/books.

  • Z:

    Trick or treat?

A 17 year old Russian girl has a doll-like face but physique of a body builder. She is a powerlifter.

sailoraquila:

witchyroses:

punkrockluna:

audino-hearts1:

did-you-kno:

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Yulia Viktorovna Vins, or Julia Vins, as she is known in the online bodybuilding and powerlifting communities, is a 17-year old Russian powerlifter who recently shot to Internet fame after a series of photos showing her doll-like face and impressive physique went viral.

Source

STRENGTH IS NOT UNFEMININE

Goddess

She could probably easily chuck me across the room if she so felt like it. That would be an honor.

You know I’m more of a writer but I want you to know I love you and my computer is sort of broken. So here are these poorly drawn and blurry ladies who always want you to do what makes you smile. Unless it’s murder or rape that’s pretty fucking rude. The bottom part wasn’t really for you Mab your radical magical lady. But since this is public and I have 100 followers now(thank you all so so much btws. I know that doesn’t seem like much but its sort of a big deal to me!) I thought I’d tack that on to the end. I love you so so so much bae I hope you feel better soon!

mickeyandcompany:

More details about Disney’s Moana

Walt Disney Animation Studios revealed plans today for Moana, a sweeping, CG-animated comedy-adventure about a spirited teenager on an impossible mission to fulfill her ancestors’ quest. In theaters in late 2016, the film is directed by the renowned filmmaking team of Ron Clements and John Musker (The Little Mermaid, The Princess and the Frog, Aladdin).

In the ancient South Pacific world of Oceania, Moana, a born navigator, sets sail in search of a fabled island. During her incredible journey, she teams up with her hero, the legendary demi-god Maui, to traverse the open ocean on an action-packed voyage, encountering enormous sea creatures, breathtaking underworlds and ancient folklore.

“John and I have partnered on so many films—from The Little Mermaid to Aladdin to The Princess and the Frog,” said Clements. “Creating Moana is one of the great thrills of our career. It’s a big adventure set in this beautiful world of Oceania.”

“Moana is indomitable, passionate and a dreamer with a unique connection to the ocean itself,” Musker said. “She’s the kind of character we all root for, and we can’t wait to introduce her to audiences.”

(Source: D23)

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